This isn’t just a baseball cap; it’s a tactical tool for the socially overstimulated. While our hoodie offers a "protective shield," this hat provides the necessary shade for a quiet retreat. Crafted from 100% Cotton Twill, it features a classic, unstructured crown that doesn’t try too hard—it molds to your head for that perfectly broken-in, "leave me be" look from day one.
 
The front features our mascot in its most relatable state: thanatosis. It’s the ultimate "out of office" accessory for the days when you need to navigate the world without actually engaging with it. It’s a literal "low-profile" way to signal your social battery is at 0% while keeping your head down and your standards high.
 
Product Features
Pure Cotton Comfort: Made from 100% Cotton Twill for a soft, breathable feel that stays comfortable whether you’re dodging chores or dodging eye contact.
The "Dad Hat" Silhouette: A signature unstructured, low-fitting 6-panel design. It’s relaxed, classic, and sits naturally on your head without the stiff, "trucker" bulk.
Adjustable Privacy: Equipped with a secure Velcro® closure, making it easy to dial in the perfect fit for a quick escape or a long walk in the park.
Retail Detail: Features reinforced stitching and a clean, pre-curved visor to maintain that "mall-quality" look through every "playing dead" session.
 
Care Instructions
Spot Clean: Use warm water and mild soap to clean specific spots. There’s no need to soak the whole item; a little maintenance goes a long way in preserving the cotton fibers.
Air Dry: Reshape and air dry after cleaning. Avoid the heat of a dryer to ensure your low-profile fit stays true to size.